More Thoughts on the maligned Angry Black Woman: From Self Destructor to Survivor
The grief of watching mothers, sisters, wives, daughters killing themselves slowly by supping on anger is a familiar experience to black men and women.There is a great well of power within black women who are the most expert survivors in American culture. But we are experts in suicidal behavior as well, which is what swallowed pain, anger and despair amounts to. If we look at some of the great icons of black creativity like Ntozake Shange, Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, Iyanla Vanzant, Oprah, Michelle Obama we see women who have grappled with these issues of self destructiveness in their personal lives, but they have managed to harness some of that energy into positive creativity via art, writing, spirituality and social outreach. These roads of creativity are the ultimate saviours, saving us from ourselves.
What is the quick and easy way to analyze one’s anger, to change it into productivity?
Is there a formula for this? In short: NO there is no formula, there is no EASY way to positivity and productivity. Many women – myself included – are often taken to the brink of death before they learn that in order to survive the only choice in life is change.
And it is a terrifying journey, that Only Choice/ Change issue. It is a lonely journey. But the spirit improves over time. You develop greater strength, even when the terrain becomes daunting the deeper you travel into previously unexplored territory….
We, the Angry Black Women, are seekers in the quest for Validation. Acceptance. Success. Creativity. Spirituality. Safety. Security. Unconditional Love.We are seeking Peace. But the Truth that you must contend with before these gifts can ever be attained is that only YOU are responsible for your own success or failure.
Those virtues are attainable. Yet, no one denies that the road is long and hard. Just the fight for stability in one’s life amidst the struggles with bills, under-employment at low wage jobs, student loans, and family responsibility threaten us with overwhelming despair in the face of one’s fragile and newly formed determination. These challenges are the mundane distractions, real and frustrating, difficulties that we all face.
But the first task in developing and strengthening that spiritual determination is a simple one: begin each day in the soft quiet embrace of meditation. Focus in complete silence and get in touch with one’s soul. In this way you begin to take responsibility for your well being and discover the whys and wherefores of one’s anger and other emotions as well. This is the essential first step. Prepare to be surprised continuously once you begin this journey. Make room for a new friend in your life; make room for the side of your Self that you have never seen before.
The holy grail that you seek upon this visionquest is Peace. From the outside forces beyond our control. From racism and sexism. From ourselves. And we are seeking the comfort of that Self that we know exists inside though it has hidden itself away in fear.
This is the journey out of hell.
It is travel from the suicidal pact of self destruction to the ultimate freedom that accompanies self- mastery. Every black woman who has experienced suffering –through racism, sexism, the demons of addiction, and the heartbreaking routine of inane “work” which provides little income yet still denies one the opportunity of true expression — is on a journey.
Your final destination — like Alice’s trek across Wonderland to the Eighth Square — ends at the place where you shall be crowned in majesty as the Soul Mistress of power and love that is inside. The gift is the return to Self.
What every black woman seeks is to become the Mistress of her own Fate and Queen of her Soul.