Lamentation Blue

The wind took my voice as I cried
for the ruins of myself
for suffering by time
refracted, shot through, by a mirror of light
upon the ebb and flow of ocean and tide

there is the scent of grief inside my dreams,
and whispers of smoke upon the horizon
are haunted by ghosts of my home far away
murmuring songs in the key of life by day

we shall travel in disguise from the garden
take me gently – as I live by night –
we will journey to earth’s edge in order to escape
into gratitude’s gentle embrace,
free from rue
liberty, at last, from lamentation blue.

amidst shades of mourning
the twilight sleep of grief wanes and dies
dampens no more mine own eyes.             I beg thee, take me when you go on contradict this fiction of the heart, whilst I weep by the eastern star  anguish will redeem me upon the dawn.

prayers  for all women upon my lips
for struggle and distress, creation and bliss
a palette of grace inside my heart
detoxify my intentions from regret
for this vision quest, vivid purpose to forget the very bitterness of you      and that devil, lamentation blue

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Arrwork: Illustrious Cry Me a River by Nguyen Thari Nhan

Loneliness is an echo chamber playing the voices of fear, the enemy of one’s self, the battles whose guns ricochet within the soft palate of the mind binding insecurity to the ever present need for companionship, betrayed ~

it is the place where need is manipulated by despair, and hope betrays solitude inside the soft boundaries of the mind where damage manifests as bruises, soft fruit with prints matching abuser’s ~

and inside the storm is the eye of the warrior entrapped in the winds of time and turbulence~

the cyclone is the laugh of madness, murder in the warrior’s mind, where the turmoil saturates what was once peace, sensory bliss. In the storm you fight and learn to spit upon base cowardice ~

I do not fear, I do not quiver in the storm. Lonesomeness girds me tight on its harness, sound regrets among the fallen, notes captured by me which now I own for my cause~

I am chaos embedded within the storm, a careless power from the void emerged, and born flinty like glints of iron ore junked in the veins beneath the skin, only so much restless dust~

In my mind I roam, meander, wander in uncharted territory ever forbidden to the Others who cannot cross past the revolutions of pressure as I do~

This is chaos, the enemy, artificial order where others sit gluttonous, saturated in false promises, slick from regret

While I dance and roar and make a friend of the rain

Broken Sleep

Hysteria by Natalie Shau

hungry dreams
gall and regret
do feed thee fine
the glass darkly
reflects ashes burnt down by time
fear and remorse and broken sleep
face to face
to thyself bid thee meet
to know thyself seek
the darkest nights
and stay deep therein
until thee find
the fire  inward burning
scourge the body, bleed the mind

Wishing Well

Artwork by Natalie Shau

suffering and sorrow are cash in the till
spent like hollow hope wishing to be filled
into sores and bruises who weep
white noise released into hands received
bitters salted by grief
cherished as good will and sleep
pleasure and pain nursed against all that you meet
unchanged always the eternal recipe
the cost of wisdom, the remainders of bad dreams

Treasure Mine

a pleasant laughter beneath the rose motif
a sharp white kiss with the drag of teeth
dusty fingers in a solemn half light
an undercover lover’s shaded movements and flight
call me your love, neither stop nor think
and I’ll come to you windblown, in darkness, with rich wine to drink

I am a dark stranger and a holy prayer true
with barbs and a cross I will pierce me to you
I constructed this love from creative dreamtime and jewels
leached this power from the hearts of seventeen fools
and now we belong to a tribe of just two
so stay here in my twilight where together we may hide
murmuring northanger and soft, cocoon and treasure mine

A Heart, Beat

If it hurts, it must be love
she thought
So the tears were bittersweet
And if there’s pain
then the love is truer still
because intensity brings climax
and the sharp edges cut deep
like the words that he hurt her with
and the feeling of loving, after the fights and bruises
ache inside
heartrending and its pace
resounded as proof of romance with every beat

brown-blues-one-eyed-tulips-by-d-lammie-hanson
Brown Blues One Eyed Tulip by D. Lannie Hanson

Dinosaur Man

the look that you gave me whispered your thoughts
there was desire and wanting but shame and darkness and loss
and next thing i know i felt the need to peel my skin off
you make me feel dirty when you look at me that way
as if brown of the skin is the same as some shit stain
i’m ugly
(you say)
i’m fat
(you say)
i’m alone
(how the hell do you know?)
but who would want would want a nigger with black nappy curls??
those are the things you conveyed in that look and
i will not own your diseased mind
nor your cruelty
nor allow you to pierce me with the thorns in
deathly savage looks

but this much i’m certain that your kind is dying
the dinosaurs are your people
who are fearful of time and future and change

Dinosaur Man you and your people are slipping away
and none will remain to mourn you or your devilish hate
so cross the bridge to oblivion
take stairs down to the abyss of fate
and stay there with those like you
there is nothing for you in this World
no room for what you name “vigilance”
and we who despise you name you “grievous mistake”