Bankruptcy

you lost your love
it got re-possessed
cuz you couldn’t afford
the interest,the credit
the fees in the debit.
then you discovered

the quality of the lover
was far less than advertised.
unlike that Clearance
chicken fryer
bad love burns hotter
than hot sauce, grease and water
the scars sear like
tar on the heart.
the damage and pain

done in the name of 
what’s gone, unreclaimed
shows on your face
like messy tear stains

the melancholy remains
long after the love departs
and your credit report
still reflects the score 

Zero, nada
you lost yo shit

An unsettled debt
in red it says
Emotionally Bankrupt

Grief Stricken, In Tears, Drunk on the Floor

Artwork by Florian Nicolle

You laid waste to yourself now you’re full arsed bare
but you were afraid, so afraid
he’d leave you
get bored
if you didn’t give it up
you were fearful he wouldn’t care

and he did leave
now you’re heart-less:
you gave that away
you’re soul-less:
you sold that to make him stay
and you’re mind-less:
because you lost that long ago
now you’re home-less as well
because you can’t live on your own
it’s too scary to live
inside yourself
you’re too wary of the silence
and the thoughts that
live there tempting self violence

but darling can’t you at least
find a way to live without a man
for a day or a week
then you may cease the experiment
but if you just tried
you really would find that
there are a thousand loves more permanent

he’s called a “user”
his job is to take what is yours
and that’s why you’re now
grief stricken
in tears
drunk
on the floor

Yes dear heart. You can live without him

These Things Which Are Mine to Keep

Love is
a dis-ease
in the blood
lies dormant
incubates & debilitates
the heart, muscle, nerves
mind, the dis-ease
it longs to roam
it desires to thrive
no cure
for this can be dispensed
by pharmacists and shrinks
yet the suffering
Increases:
longing, desperation, and thirst
Drink: poison
from a lover’s lipsWhispered secrets
-gently, gently-
the merest caress
(lies)
Soft, as a kiss
Sing, my foolishness
my delusion
my melody of weakness
of heart, of body
that craved & pined
for the poverty of your love, true

I was chasing my dragon;
I was mainlining you

Antidote Unknown
they say it is Time
the pain lingers, never lessens
throbs & whines
to an hysterical beat
late in the night
in wakefulness and fatigue
pulses and weeps
sighs, begs, calls
“come back to me”

Missing the pressure
of your love
pressed onto mine
your distance
your absence
in the night
my soul calling to yours
with panicked
cries

alleviate this sickness
kiss me again
as when you loved me before

the way you did back then

Afterward to your ghost
I plead
Just leave me.
Please let me rest.
Go away let me
be among the whispers
of the past
no matter
if they be perceptible
only to me

Here, amidst my treasures,
that I hold deep inside
where that broken love
so long bereft
lives on
in spite of your abandonment

This: my love: my deepest secret

These memories are mine,
these secret lover’s oaths
all have been breached
they are fractured, unhealed
in broken disrepair
yet to memory’s senses
fresh, still aware
these, too, are mine
they belong to me
to have
to hold
to obey
to cherish and keep