X Heart/X Mind

You have moved on
and now I can be free
so why should I miss you
when you don’t miss me
Still I am willing to bet
you block my letters
and turn your back

yet for all that you still don’t forget

I dream of peace
an to end the war
when we say to each other
”i am angry no more”
just to sigh and relax
finally be at ease
 becalmed as the waves
skimmed by a gentle breeze
upon the great silent sea
that separates you so far from me
and, finally, then  there will be no harm
to look back
to luxuriate in those old memories
 we’ve said goodbye
 and walked away
even if I don’t understand —
— if I didn’t want it to be that way
I can respect your choice
But perhaps one day
when we’ve grown and changed
we can talk about
why you chose to go away
so the love has gone
 still that is okay
but friendship is forever
if you cherish it that way
Because you were special
and we were friends first
and we laughed a lot
before the time of the hurts
love and memory and friendship
are like a fisherman’s giant net:
you cannot get free of
 what you cannot forget
it’s impossible to keep hating
because love is
far stronger
 than pride
which is why it’s so difficult
never to look back when saying goodbye
when you’ve caused pain and hurt to a friend
the sense memories remain
upon the flesh within
tho you wish to pretend
that turning your back means the end
and yet who
 can explain
why the mind
never ceases looking back
as if  hoping to meet up once more
with the past
 it was only a ruse designed to trick our hearts
that we said
”fuck you. forget you. you’re not my problem”
you were never a problem
you made me smile
in a world of tears

you were so worth the while

i tell you this
not for you to reply
only so you know that
still
you cross my mind
i miss you, my friend
i wish you well
but I have so many stories
that I want to  tell you
moving on means
telling someone else
but it’s never the same
as telling you yourself
be well, dear
i still miss you sometimes
 you once crossed my heart
and now
 forever crossing my mind
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Author: Politrixie

Politrixie the Political Mistress is a blogger, reader, poet and feminist. I am a mistress of mischief, an arty scholar and an Ivy League heffa.

1 thought on “X Heart/X Mind”

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